I can remember growing up in Michigan and spending a lot of time in basements. We would play billiards, we would have birthday parties, video game tournaments, etc.

Basements were the place to be…Until you were alone and it was time to turn off the light and go upstairs!!!

I don’t care how many times I did it, I still always ran up the stairs as soon as the light went out completely convinced that there was a monster going to grab my leg.

The darkness represented the unknown and the unknown can be terrifying.

It wasn’t just the basement though. When it was time for sleep in my bedroom, there was no way I was sleeping on top of the covers. I was certain that the monster in the closet could see me on top of covers but no way he could find me under the covers.

You’d also never catch me with my arm or leg hanging off the side of the mattress because that’s how you get snatched up by the goblin that’s under the bed.

I am sure some of your reading this can relate to how real that fear was a child. The darkness made you feel vulnerable and like you couldn’t protect yourself. The darkness represented the unknown and as I stated before: the unknown can be terrifying.

Now I assume many of us no longer run up the stairs or feel the need to bury our faces in the pillows to get through the night, however, a lot of adults are still afraid of the dark when we look at it in terms of our secrets and shame.

The secrets of your past live in the darkness. Hell, they grow in the darkness. Let me write that again:

Secrets Grow in The Dark.

When we think about the deep and dark secrets we are holding onto from our past, we fear that if we shine a light on them they will attack us and we will be vulnerable.

We fear that we will be powerless to the secret. We don’t know exactly what will happen if people knew our secret; the unknown is once again a fear that is affecting our lives.

Our secrets and our shame and our guilt – TRAP US. They torment us. They convince us that they will destroy us.

Let me make a bold claim:




In the same way that turning on the light made your fears disappear as a child, the same is true for adulthood. We must shine light on the darkness of our past to eliminate the stronghold of the fear.

Find someone that you can share your shame with. Find someone you can share your guilt with.

When we share our secrets with others we are shining a light on it. We are destroying the darkness of our lives and we are taking back our power from the secret.

Just like when you were a kid, if you will just turn on the light, you will see there is nothing to be afraid of.

Some secrets are new and some are deep-rooted in our childhood. Either way, the same rules apply. Shine light on your secrets.

The average person’s life expectancy is 70 years. You are a child for only 18 of those years… Do not allow something that happened in the early years of your life to hold you back from enjoying freedom and joy in adulthood.

If you do not know a safe place to turn with your guilt or shame or secrets, please reach out and I will help you find resources.

I am here for you. I love you. Have a great day and go out there and turn on the lights!

Phillip Andrew

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