I thought my life was over...
JANUARY 28, 2008. 10 years ago today, I woke up in a cell at the Melvindale Police Department after a stupid decision led to a DUI.
I very dramatically thought “my life was over.” I immediately felt as though my life would never be the same. I was right, but not in the way I had original thought. It’s now been 10 years since I had my last drink of alcohol, and I am grateful as all hell for that arrest. I needed to face consequences for my actions. I needed to learn I wasn’t above the rules. I needed to grow the hell up. I needed help. I had a ton of unresolved shame, anxiety, uncertainty, fear, and anger that developed during my childhood and it was amplifying after the death of my mother. Once I started to participate in AA, I started to learn how to address those feelings. While it didn’t happen all at once, I learned how to actually cope with my emotions instead of hiding from them with drinking and other destructive behaviors. Today, I love the man that I have become. I love my life. I love my career. I love that I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want my life to be about. I love that I am comfortable in my own skin. Today, I don’t celebrate: “not putting alcohol in my body for 10 years”... I celebrate the peace and serenity and joy and happiness that I experience on a daily basis. I am grateful for having learned the power, strength, and freedom that comes from transparency, vulnerability and honesty. As always, if you or a friend or a family member is curious about substance abuse issues, my phone is always on, I am always available, and I am here for you. Thank you to all my family and friends for your love and support. Thank you to those that have been there since day one, those that have come and gone, and those that are new in my life. I am humbled and filled with so much gratitude for this life that I get to live today. I love you all. Have a beautiful day. 1.28.18 - Phillip Andrew.