PARENTING CAN BE HARD...
For parents out there, that is probably the understatement of the year...lol. Now, I am not a parent. I do not have personal experience of navigating the life of being a parent. What I do know is that when I am confused or overwhelmed or excited about or interested in something...I study. I read lots about a topic. I research. I think about all the different opinions. I cover my bases. As many of you know, I also have a lot of experience in and around the mental health community in terms of chemical dependency, codependency, love/sex addiction, etc. I study psychology and dating and therapy and suicide and sociology all because I am passionate about people. Today I read something I wanted to share with the parents out there: “In order to love healthily, a child CANNOT believe that the moon and stars revolve around him. Spotlights are blinding, and the child who is constantly told how special he is will have difficulty seeing other people clearly. He is bound to be disappointed when his partner doesn’t show the same unbridled enthusiasm his parents once showed for his effort.” - “The Price of Privilege”, Madeline Levine, Ph.D. (Therapist/Psychologist) We all want the best for our children, and we often want to “give them everything.” I challenge the parents out there, that if you really want the best for your child, do not rely on your own understanding and the parenting methods used by your own parents. Read and study and make your own educated decisions on how to raise your sons and daughters based on research and experts and people that have dedicated their lives to the development of healthy humans. Acting as if you have all of the answers often leads to making the wrong choices even if done with the best of intentions. Seek to be more educated and do what is going to be the best for the 25-year-old version of your child. If you really want to give your child an advantage, learn how to be the best parent possible. It starts with you. Part of being a powerful parent isn’t just developing a strong relationship with your children, but setting them up for successful relationships with other people at each stage of their lives. You will not always be there for them, so teach them how to love themselves and love others, not just how to admire you. Closing statement from Dr. Levine: “Self-control, the ability to delay gratification, frustration tolerance, a sense of competency, self-efficiency, the ability to act in one’s best interest, all of these have been known to develop out of a mix of genetic endowment and good parenting.” What do you think? Love you all. Have a great day.
1.17.18 - Phillip Andrew