3 EASY STEPS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
3 EASY STEPS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF I love to beat myself up. Okay...that’s a damn lie. I hate it. Haha. I wish I wasn’t so hard on myself, but I am. As I am sure you are on yourself. “We are our own worst critic...” blah blah blah! But there must be some reason we do it...right? Why else would we do it? It doesn’t make us feel good, it doesn’t serve us...so why do it? Good damn question Phillip (yes, I’m talking to myself) I had an epiphany the other day about why I am so hard on myself, about why I like to beat myself up, about why it’s so difficult for me to forgive myself when I make a mistake...and it was really simple: ...I have been doing it for so long. I’ve had a lot of practice with it. I’m good at it. Lol. Somewhere in childhood I started doing it, and I just never corrected the behavior. It’s That Simple. It’s just a childish bad habit. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s almost silly when you think of it that way isn’t it? What do you say... could it maybe be time to correct the silly childish habit of beating ourselves up? I think so. So here is a very quick, three step process to try out the next time you are “being hard on yourself” or “beating yourself up” over something.
1) RECOGNIZE the fact that you doing it. It’s hard to correct if you aren’t aware. So recognize that you are “beating” yourself up.
2) IDENTIFY that it is happening for no other reason than it is comfortable, it’s routine, it’s a bad + childish habit you haven’t corrected yet. Lucky for us we don’t have to be stuck in childish thinking.
3) ENCOURAGE someone else. Get out of your own head, instead of trying to tear yourself down, take a moment and build someone else up. Call, text, email, message someone and encourage them in a genuine way.
It has been said that “All suffering is an obsession with self.” So get outside of yourself, got out of your own head obsessing about YOU, and encourage someone else. RECOGNIZE the behavior, IDENTIFY it for the bad habit it is, and ENCOURAGE someone. Now, of course it is important to look at our behaviors and make sure we are on track. Its necessary to practice self-awareness and reflect on how we are living our lives, but it doesn’t do us any benefit to dwell on and relive mistakes and to beat ourselves up...we shouldn’t live our lives punishing ourselves for every time we make a mistake and fall short of perfection. Is this backed by science...I don’t know. I’m not a scientist. Haha. But I know that I am much happier when I love myself and love others vs. scolding myself for not being perfect. RECOGNIZE * IDENTIFY * ENCOURAGE Happy Friday everyone. I love you. (11.17.17 www.phillipandrew.co/blog)