WE ARE NOT ROBOTS

WE ARE NOT ROBOTS When I was a kid, I always looked up to men in the military, police officers, pro athletes, super heroes... their strength, their size, they mentality. They seemed to be so powerful and that nothing could rattle or hurt them. The Terminator...there is another one. Arnold was so tough and strong and fearless and nothing could stop him. No emotion. A machine. Those began to be the qualities I valued for my own life. Then in sports, you hear the “no pain, no gain”, “the show must go on”, “the job has to get done.” And while these things might be true, while “life does move on”, We are not robots. I am not the terminator. Yesterday, my sister’s beloved dog Valentina had to be laid to rest as she had terminal Lung Cancer. It is heartbreaking. It is sad. It is difficult. We will miss Valentina, or Baby V or Miss America as we love to call her. I feel awful for my sister. I feel sad for Valentina. I feel terrible for my family and friends that loved her. I feel... ...we are not robots. We feel. Today my brain wants to be “business as usual” or “the show must go on”, but my heart is sad. My heart is heavy. And all that means is that I am human. So yes, “while the world continues to spin”, it is a sad day for me and my family and my sister. We lost a loved one. We will grieve appropriately, not try to sweep it under the rug and just go through the motions. We are not robots. We are not machines. We are not terminators. We are humans, with hearts, and we lost our loved one. It is okay to be sad, it is okay to mourn, it is necessary to grieve. Today I WILL NOT put my feelings into some box, lock it deep inside of myself and throw away the key. I will process the painful feelings, I will mourn our loss, I will be human...I am not a machine. Goodbye Valentina. You were an amazing dog, you were so filled with excitement and love. You will be missed. You are so loved. CarolAnn, I am so sorry. I am always here for you. I love you. You gave Valentina a beautiful life. 11.15.17