WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A 5-YEAR-OLD?
WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A 5-YEAR OLD? I can be absolutely brutal... ...100 percent terrible... ...the biggest bully ever ... to myself. Can you relate? Are you hard on yourself? Do you beat yourself up over your failures? Over your procrastinations? Over you bank account? Do you find it damn near impossible to celebrate your own success because it didn’t go exactly as planned or it still doesn’t feel good enough? Even if you succeed, is there a feeling like it’s just a matter of time before you ruin it or fail? NO? Okay, well good for you. I’m not talking to you. Please move along...Hahahaha. But if you relate to any of those, welcome to the club. I have a tendency to be extremely tough on myself. Wishing and hoping for ‘perfect’ success, and when it doesn’t happen, I beat myself up. I focus so much on what didn’t happen or how I missed the mark, it can be devastating and almost paralyzing. Even when I do something good, there is a part of my brain that doesn’t want me to celebrate the success. Call it “the enemy”, call it “resistance,” call it “pessimism”, whatever you call it, it’s a pain in the ass and it doesn’t serve me. When we start to have those moments, when We are in our heads beating ourselves up, bullying ourselves, We need to stop for a second, take a breath, and then think about the scenario as if it were someone else...let me explain: If a friend or a family member you love did what you did, had the success or the failure that you did, what would you say to them? Would you say, “nice promotion, but you’re still not the CEO!” probably not. Would you say “tough loss man, you obviously didn’t want it bad enough, you’re so lazy?” I bet you wouldn’t. It’s hilarious how we know how to encourage and support others but fail to do it for ourselves. One trick I have picked up is to think, “would I say this to a 5 year old?” You can even personalize it and say “Would I say this to the 5 year old ME?” When I start bullying myself because of accomplishment or performance or diet or anything, I say, “would you say this to 5 Year old Phillip?” The answer is almost 100 percent NO, so I learn to stop being a jerk to myself. STOP bullying yourself. It doesn’t serve you. Encourage and support yourself with the same grace and love you would show towards your closest friends or a child. When the negativity and bullying starts, ask yourself: “WOULD YOU SAY THAT TO A 5 YEAR OLD?” (10.30.17 - www.PhillipAndrew.co/blog)